


Sea Shanties And Sober Siblings Don't Mix

by hips_of_steel



Series: Sea Shanties and Drinking Songs [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alasdair and Alice will never admit they're in love but they are, And ScotWales are Oz's parents you can take this headcanon from my cold dead hands, They're just also very stubborn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9190337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hips_of_steel/pseuds/hips_of_steel
Summary: Scarlet just had to film them singing sea shanties while they were out drinking.And then send it to their other siblings who had stayed home.Turns out Siobhan, Elaine, and Alice were not impressed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Links to the versions of the shanties. I recommend listening while reading to get the full experience.  
> Spanish Ladies-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL5j_L0Djms  
> Pump Shanty-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzg0oBrZmTg  
> All For Me Grog-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1bV6VHviNU  
> Drunken Whaler-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urV8MIcLDFk
> 
> Now, a note on names.  
> Ireland-Siobhan  
> Nyo! Ireland-Patrick (Yes in my world he's the Nyo, deal with it.)  
> Wales-Owen  
> Nyo! Wales-Elaine  
> Scotland-Alasdair  
> Nyo! Scotland-Scarlet  
> England-Arthur  
> Nyo! England-Alice  
> Northern Ireland-Brendan  
> Nyo! Northern Ireland-Bridget
> 
> Also, thank AO3 inserting unnecessary paragraph breaks that couldn't be removed for the large spaces between lines because the work will look uniform, goddamnit!

Alasdair supposed he should have seen the trouble it would bring when his twin decided to join her brothers in a night of drunken revelry. It wasn’t like Scarlet couldn’t hold her drink, given that the only siblings who could beat her were the main Ireland siblings. Not even Alasdair could beat her, although he had tried (last time he tried, he had awoken to Alice half asleep on his chest, an incident they both later denied had ever occurred despite the photographic proof).

 

Anyhow, the two halves of Northern Ireland, Brendan and Bridget, having been left at home along with Siobhan, who wasn’t interested in drinking that night, Elaine, and Alice, the others headed out into the streets of Glasgow.

 

Owen, Patrick, and Scarlet were all getting along well, already challenging each other before they had even reached the first bar. Alasdair watched Arthur act like he was only here to make sure his older siblings were ‘responsible, but he knew that soon enough, Arthur would be drunk enough to join in.

 

Alasdair, however, should have known that Scarlet had developed an annoying habit of filming almost everything and sending it to their sisters. He should have foreseen the trouble.

 

But he was too focused on the fact that Wales, with enough alcohol in him, gazed at Scarlet with a pretty heavy leer, and then Scarlet, trying to keep her brothers from a brawl, suggested singing.

 

Soon enough, they were all singing the lyrics to whatever England was singing.

 

And they were too drunk to realize that instead of taking photos, Scarlet was filming it all.

 

***

 

Elaine was folding laundry while Siobhan knitted, Brendan and Bridget were arguing, and Alice was on the computer when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

 

_Three new videos from Scarlet McRae_

 

She had hardly clicked on the first one when she was almost physically assaulted by the roar of her singing brothers. Everyone froze as Elaine hurriedly paused the video.

 

“Care to share?” Alice asked, and Elaine headed over to the computer, attaching her phone and transferring the videos over to the main computer.

 

The first one came up, and Elaine, after checking the volume, clicked play. Scarlet had obviously filmed it, given that she was not in the video.

 

It began with Arthur and Owen singing almost like a duet.

 

“ _Farewell and adieu_ _  
_

 

_To you Spanish Ladies_ _  
_

 

_Farewell and adieu_

 

_To you ladies of Spain.”_

 

At that point, Alasdair and Patrick caught onto what song they were singing and grinning, joined in. _  
_

 

_“For we've received orders_ _  
_

 

_For to sail for Old England_ _  
_

 

_But we hope in a short time_ _  
_

 

_To see you again.”_

 

Alice snorted. “Oh, I might have to send this to Antonio and Carmen. I’m sure they’ll be delighted to know that Arthur thinks of Spanish ladies when he’s out drinking.”

 

Siobhan groaned, and Elaine rolled her eyes. “Please don’t. As much as you don’t like your twin, I do like our door, and Antonio is prone to destroying them when he’s mad.”

 

Bridget laughed. “Yeah, with a battle ax.”

 

_“We'll rant and we'll roar_ _  
_

 

_Like true-”_

 

_“-Irish-”_ Patrick said, and Elaine laughed as she realized no one except Arthur was going to use the proper line.

 

_“-Welsh-”_ Owen continued.

 

_“-Scottish-”_ Alasdair and Scarlet cheered.

 

_“-British-”_ Arthur said, sounding irritated with his siblings.

 

_“-sailors_ _  
_

 

_We'll rant and we'll roar_ _  
_

 

_Along the salt seas.”_

 

The five siblings back at the house all shot each other knowing looks, laughing as they knew that this would repeat throughout the entirety of the song. _  
_

 

_“Until we strike soundings_ _  
_

 

_In the Channel of Old England_ _  
_

 

_From Ushant to Scilly_ _  
_

 

_Is thirty-five leagues.”_

 

Owen continued the next few lines alone. _  
_

 

_“We hove our ship to_ _  
_

 

_With the wind from sou'west, boys_ _  
_

 

_We hove our ship to_ _  
_

 

_Our soundings for to see_ _  
_

 

_Then the signal was made_

 

_For the grand fleet to anchor.”_

 

England finished the next two lines as Owen lifted his pint to gulp down more beer before the chorus began again. _  
_

 

_“And all in the Downs_ _  
_

 

_That night for to meet.”_ _  
_

 

All five siblings began singing again, the surrounding patrons of the bar laughing as Scarlet undoubtedly egged them on. _  
_

 

_“We'll rant and we'll roar_

 

_Like true-”_

 

_“-Welsh-”_

 

_“-Scottish-”_

 

_“-Irish-”_

 

_“-British-”_

 

_“-sailors_ _  
_

 

_We'll rant and we'll roar_ _  
_

 

_Along the salt seas_ _  
_

 

_Until we strike soundings_ _  
_

 

_In the Channel of Old England_ _  
_

 

_From Ushant to Scilly_ _  
_

 

_Is thirty-five leagues.”_ _  
_

 

Alasdair sang the next two lines, grinning right at the camera. _  
_

 

_“Now let every man_ _  
_

 

_Toss off a full bumper.”_

 

Scarlet sang the next two from behind the camera. _  
_

 

_“Now let every man_ _  
_

 

_Toss off a full bowl.”_

 

Then Patrick sang, lifting his beer with a cheer. _  
_

 

_“And we'll drink and be merry_ _  
_

 

_And drown melancholy_ _  
_

 

_Singing, here's a good health_ _  
_

 

_To all true-hearted souls.”_ _  
_

 

The five siblings at home all laughed and grinned as the chorus began again for the last time. _  
_

 

_“We'll rant and we'll roar_ _  
_

 

_Like true-”_

 

_“-Scottish-”_

 

_“-Welsh-”_

 

_“-Irish-”_

 

_“-British-”_

 

_“-sailors_ _  
_

 

_We'll rant and we'll roar_ _  
_

 

_Along the salt seas.”_

 

Scarlet overrode their brothers for the finishing lines. _  
_

 

_“Until we strike soundings_ _  
_

 

_In the Channel of Old England_ _  
_

 

_From Ushant to Scilly_ _  
_

 

_Is thirty-five leagues.”_

 

Roars of laughter rose from the five drunken siblings and those at home, as well as the patrons of the bar. Elaine and Siobhan shook their heads with laughter as they clicked on the next video.

 

A different bar now, and it started with a bit of chaos. Alasdair was yelling something indistinct at Owen, who was facing Scarlet and the camera head on, reaching for it with a laugh.

 

“Let’s sing another song!” Scarlet said, and glanced at Arthur. “Got another shanty for us?”

 

Arthur paused for a moment, Patrick next to him, and then grinned. “I got one.”

 

The siblings at home grinned at the quick response Scarlet gave him. “Well, start it fast before my twin kills Owen.”

 

Arthur took a gulp of whisky and then began.

 

“ _The captain's daughter I suppose_ _  
_

 

_Could be called an English Rose_

 

_What would you think if I propose_

 

_The pox she gave to me a dose._ ”

 

Elaine noticed how Alice had physically stiffened at that, especially when Alasdair grinned at the song, whirling to sing along. Patrick had joined in as well, although Owen still seemed to still be distracted by Scarlet.

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_

 

Alasdair took control of the next verse.

 

_“This rose well she did prick me sore_ _  
_

 

_I never felt so bad before_ _  
_

 

_Thanks to the girl I did adore_ _  
_

 

_I thought I'd never pump no more.”_

 

Brendan and Bridget grinned at Alice. “Alasdair likes you!” They chanted together.

 

“Alasdair is drunk.” She growled, mood growing foul.

 

Owen, meanwhile, seemed to have caught onto the song, turning and joining in. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Alasdair continued his solo, ensuring that Alice was going to give him a black eye in the near future. _  
_

 

_“I called the doctor right away_ _  
_

 

_To find out what he had to say_ _  
_

 

_That's two pound ten you’re on your way_

 

_I think the girl is in his pay.”_

 

Alice finally stood, leaving the computer behind to her siblings. “It’s gone too far.”

 

Siobhan laughed. “Aw, Alice, don’t be like that.” But Alice was already halfway across the room, growling at her cell phone, likely trying to decide the best route for vengeance against Arthur for choosing that song and Alasdair for singing along. Elaine expected all of the drunk siblings would be subjected to her anger. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Patrick took the next verse. _  
_

 

_“They say life has its ups and downs_ _  
_

 

_That really now is quite profound_ _  
_

 

_I'd like to push the capstan round_

 

_But its pump me boys before we drown.”_

 

Elaine was wondering how they were coordinating this, or if she was simply lucky they weren’t all running over the other with their own versions and tempos. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Owen grinned as he got his solo, prepared to remind his brothers why he was called the land of song. _  
_

 

_“The ocean we all do adore_ _  
_

 

_So come on lads let's pump some more_ _  
_

 

_Don't worry if your stiff and sore_

 

_But I'm sure we've pumped this bit before.”_

 

Scarlet laughed as she got up, and Elaine was sure she had just leaned up against Owen, knowing that Alasdair would be too preoccupied to attack his older brother. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Arthur took the next verse. _  
_

 

_“Sometimes when I’m in my bed_ _  
_

 

_And thinking of my day ahead_

 

_I wish that I could wake up dead-”_

 

Alice almost growled from the other side of the room. “You aren’t the only one!”

 

“Alice, could you be quiet?” Bridget begged, although they all knew she was enjoying Alice’s misery as much as the rest of them. _  
_

 

_“-But pumpin's all I get instead.”_

 

The chorus between every verse featured all the siblings. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Scarlet claimed the next verse. _  
_

 

_“Yes, how I wish that I could die_ _  
_

 

_The swine who built this tub to find_ _  
_

 

_I'd bring him back from where he fries_

 

_And pump until the beggar's dry.”_

 

The brothers roared, and continued. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Owen pulled Scarlet into his lap as Alasdair was distracted with the next verse, and Elaine rolled her eyes. Alasdair refused to accept the fact that those two were hardly deterred by his efforts to keep them from sleeping together. They mainly just allowed him the illusion that his tactics worked. _  
_

 

_“If Noah used him for his ark_ _  
_

 

_It certainly wouldn't have been a lark_ _  
_

 

_From rising sun till getting dark_

 

_The animals all hard at work.”_

 

Laughing, and then more singing. Each sibling was taking intermittent sips of their alcohol of choice, and Alasdair finished his next glass of whisky at the end of the verse. _  
_

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_ _  
_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_ _  
_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_ _  
_

 

Patrick took the final verse, Owen joining in while Scarlet laughed. _  
_

 

_“There's so much water down below_ _  
_

 

_How it got there I don't know_ _  
_

 

_The old man says let's roll and go_

 

_But I think we're bound for Davy Jones.”_

 

They repeated the chorus six times, each sibling getting a solo, and then singing it together as a final verse.

 

_“Pump me boys, pump her dry_

 

_Down to hell and up to the sky_ _  
_

 

_Bend your back and break your bones_

 

_We're just a thousand miles from home.”_

 

The video ended with Alasdair turning and freezing. “Scar, what the fuck are ya doing on Owen’s lap?”

 

The video clicked off milliseconds later, and Brendan and Bridget about burst at the seams. “It’s not ever going to work.” Brendan said, laughing. “I wonder why Alasdair keeps trying.”

 

Elaine rolled her eyes, but answered. “Because he’s an idiot who likes to pretend that Australia doesn’t have Scarlet’s attitude but looks like Owen.”

 

Bridget raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you’re saying Kyle is-”

 

Siobhan silenced the other two, shooting Elaine a glare. Elaine raised her hands in mock surrender, but really, more of the nations should be aware of that by now, as it had been obvious since the boy began to talk who his parents were. Brendan leaned over and clicked the next video.

 

Yet another bar. Elaine wondered if they were trying to do a pub crawl or simply getting kicked out for fights, given that Alasdair had clearly been mopping up a bloody nose before this video began. Elaine assumed that was courtesy of Scarlet.

 

But this time Scarlet had set her phone up against something, and began the singing while sitting on a table, grinning at her brothers.

 

_“And it's all for me grog, me jolly', jolly' grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin_

 

_Far across the Western Ocean I must wander.”_

 

Scarlet grinned as Owen looked up from his pint as she sat in front of him, lifting up her legs for him to get a good look during the next verse. Siobhan made a disgruntled noise at that, but really, even the twins of Northern Ireland knew the the female half of Scotland did not have an ounce of modesty to her name.

 

_“Where are me boots, me noggin', noggin' boots?_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well the heels they are worn out and the toes are knocked about_

 

_And the soles are looking out for better weather.”_

 

Arthur and Patrick joined in with the chorus as Owen stood up, placing a sloppy kiss on Scarlet much to Alasdair’s silent indignation.

 

_“And it's all for me grog, me jolly', jolly' grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin_

 

_Far across the Western Ocean I must wander.”_

 

Owen pulled back as the chorus finished, singing the next verse with a grin as he pulled Scarlet off the table and into his lap.

 

“ _Oh, where is me shirt, my noggin', noggin' shirt?_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, the collar it is wore, and the sleeves they are all tore_

 

_And the tails are looking out for better weather.”_

 

Everyone except Alasdair sang the chorus this round, laughing.

 

_“And it's all for me grog, me jolly', jolly' grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin_

 

_Far across the Western Ocean I must wander.”_

 

Suddenly, Alasdair stood, and after slamming back another whisky, joined in with the next verse.

 

_“Where is our ship, our noggin’, noggin’ ship?_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, the masts, they’re all burned down ‘cause we ran the ship aground_

 

_And I think we’re gonna have to steal another.”_

 

There was a cheer from Patrick and Arthur as they went to the next verse, and Brendan snorted. “About time Alasdair joined in on the fun.”

 

_“And it's all for me grog, me jolly', jolly' grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin_

 

_Far across the Western Ocean I must wander.”_

 

Arthur stood up, almost sloshing his pint on the table as he joined in with the next verse.

 

“ _Where is me bed, me noggin' noggin bed_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, the sheets they are all tore, cause I left them to a-”_ He almost froze. “Can I say whore?”

 

Owen yelped, shooting up to try and silence his younger brother, Scarlet falling to the floor in a pile of limbs while Patrick and Alasdair tried not to die of laughter at Owen almost yelping. “NO!”

 

Elaine saw the Northern Ireland twins grin, and Siobhan laughed, but she felt her eyes narrow. _Alright, twin of mine, you let him go too far with that little slip._

 

Siobhan saw her look and shook her head. “It’s all in good fun, little sister.”

 

“Well, it was until Owen let him say that!” She snapped, ignoring the video. Siobhan turned and saw Scarlet crawling back up and taking Owen’s place with a distinctive grumbling as he tried to keep Arthur from another misstep.

 

_“Well it's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me loot in a house of ill repute_

 

_And I think I'll have to go back there tomorrow.”_

 

Patrick took the next verse, standing with a silly grin and foam from his beer still in his beard.

 

“ _Where is me verse, me jolly, jolly verse_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well the nouns they are all gone and the adjectives, "So Long!"_

 

_And the verbs are lookin' out for better weather.”_

 

Owen, having apparently decided he had done enough to reprimand his younger brother, joined in with the chorus, and Arthur did as well.

 

“ _And it's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me loot in a house of ill repute_

 

_And I think I'll have to go back there tomorrow.”_

 

Siobhan watched Elaine head over to Alice, who was firmly fixed to her phone, and after a brief discussion, Alice flashed Elaine a menacing smile and nodded, typing something into her phone. Siobhan would have kept watching them, except then she heard Scarlet’s voice rising up once more, and turned back towards the screen.

 

“ _Well, I'm sick in the head and I haven't been to bed_

 

_Since we came ashore with our plunder_

 

_I've seen cats and smelly rigs, and they’ve given me headaches_

 

_And I think I'll have to go away off yonder.”_

 

The boys joined back in, grinning and laughing, even Alasdair.

 

_“Well it's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog_

 

_All gone for beer and tobacco_

 

_Well, I spent all me loot in a house of ill repute_

 

_And I think I'll have to go back there tomorrow.”_

 

Then, with Scarlet’s lead, they sang the last line.

 

“ _Yes, I think I'll have to go back there tomorrow!”_

 

Or, at least what Siobhan had assumed was the last line, because they followed it with just a touch of blasphemy.

 

“ _Amen!”_ They all said, raising their glasses and slamming them together, and then Scarlet reached over. She fiddled with the camera for a while before she shut it off.

 

Brendan and Bridget were cackling, but she now agreed with her other sisters. It had gone _too far_.

 

She marched over towards them. “Alright, what’s our plan for revenge?”

 

Alice grinned. “Ever hear of a variation on ‘Drunken Sailor’ called ‘Drunken Whaler’?”

 

***

 

Alasdair woke up in a room that vaguely looked like his, but not exactly, trying to remember what he had done last night to get the hangover currently roaring through his brain. Sitting up, he realized that this was supposed to be Brendan and Bridget’s room, given the flags and football posters hanging from the ceiling. He glanced over and saw Arthur snoring on the other bed, and then he saw the glasses of water and ibuprofen on the nightstand.

 

Silently thanking the twins, he grabbed a few and swallowed them back with the water, trying to clear his head.

 

Patrick was undoubtedly on the couch, probably still asleep while Siobhan or Elaine used him as a good spot to stack laundry they might be in the middle of folding. He made sure he was dressed, not having stripped in his sleep (as he had been known to do), and then reached over, shaking Arthur awake.

 

“Ughhhhh. Go away.”

 

“You’ll regret it if you don’t take your ibuprofen now. Here.”

 

Arthur didn’t even open his eyes as he grabbed the pills and water. Swallowing, he finished the glass of water and then sank back into the bed with a moan. Alasdair shook his head and set the glass back on the nightstand, heading out of the room and stumbling downstairs.

 

Patrick was indeed on the couch, with several stacks of folded jeans on top of him. Siobhan had likely just disappeared down the hall with a full basket and would be back soon enough to collect the rest.

 

Stumbling into the kitchen, Elaine and Alice were already over the stove. Thankfully, Alice was not the one doing the cooking.

 

She turned and shot him a glare. “You look like you had a fun night.”

 

Alasdair shot her back a one fingered salute. “Fuck off. Where are the Norn twins?” He directed towards Elaine, who answered.

 

“They had to head back to Belfast during the night. Something they claimed they needed to do.”

 

If Alasdair hadn’t been so hungover, he might have seen the wicked little grin that flashed between his sisters, but his brain focused instead on the emergence of Owen and Scarlet, Owen half carrying Scarlet, who was wearing a far too large shirt with a Welsh dragon on it.

 

Well, he would have to be angry about that later, he supposed. As long as Owen didn’t-

 

As Owen spotted Alasdair, he grinned and reached down and set a hand around Scarlet’s hips, running a thumb over her ass.

 

Alasdair made a note to kill Owen as soon as the rising sun stopped making his head throb. Scarlet just leaned closer to Owen as they headed for their spots at the table.

 

Only Elaine setting a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him stopped him from murdering his older brother right then and there. Squinting against the bright morning sun, he found his fork and began to eat. Siobhan, having returned and gotten all the laundry off of Patrick, shook him awake, and eventually even Arthur stumbled down and joined them at the table.

 

And when Owen almost began making out with Scarlet at the breakfast table, Alasdair was clear headed enough to place a kick in the Welshman’s shin rather than Alice’s, who was sitting next to Owen. He had made that mistake a few times before, and he wasn’t exactly fond of knowing that the Englishwoman was planning revenge against him.

 

***

 

Later that day, Alasdair was trying to clean his room when he heard a knock. “Yeah?”

 

“It’s Scarlet. I’m coming in.” She said, opening the door and closing it. Alasdair rolled his eyes.

 

“Look, if this is another speech about how you and Wales have been sleeping together for three hundred years, I’m aware. Just because I’m aware doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

 

Scarlet snorted. “That’s not why I’m here. Check your phone for messages. I just got one from Bridget, but the message comes from our other dear sisters.”

 

Alasdair glanced up and reached for his cell phone, surprised to see that there was indeed a message from Bridget on it. He opened it up, and found a video file.

 

He clicked play.

 

Elaine, Siobhan, and Alice were standing facing the camera, glaring into it.

 

“Hello Patrick, Owen, Alasdair, Arthur, and Scarlet. Did you know that Scarlet filmed you all singing last night and sent us the videos?” Elaine began.

 

Alasdair whirled on his twin. “SCARLET!”

 

“Just keep watching the video, brother.”

 

He turned back towards the video, sighing.

 

Alice continued. “While we did enjoy your rendition of Spanish Ladies, there were some… objections to parts of Pump Shanty and All For Me Grog.”

 

Little clips of the videos Scarlet had taken played, including the first three verses of Pump Shanty. Alasdair realized with a grimace that he had sang two of those. Alice was going to murder him. Then there was the incident of Arthur asking if he could say whore, and them all shouting amen.

 

He knew exactly which clip had pissed off which sister.

 

Siobhan now started. “As such, we have recorded a little gift to remind you to watch what you say next time you sing while drunk. Brendan and Bridget have been kind enough to edit the video for us as well. Thank you, Brendan and Bridget. Now, let the song begin.”

 

There was a pause, and then the video was clearly being filmed in another room.

 

The three sisters began with the darkest sounding version of Drunken Sailor Alasdair had ever heard.

 

_“What will we do with a drunken whaler_

 

_What will we do with a drunken whaler_

 

_What will we do with a drunken whaler_

 

_Early in the Morning_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Suddenly, it flicked over to a video of just Siobhan, and he saw a little text blurb that read **_To Patrick_ **.

 

“ _Stuff him in a sack and throw him over_

 

_Stuff him in a sack and throw him over_

 

_Stuff him in a sack and throw him over_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Patrick, at least, was likely unfazed by this. He, however, had to wonder what hell was awaiting the rest of them.

 

The next bit was Alice, and the verse was gifted to Arthur.

 

“ _Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner_

 

_Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner_

 

_Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Then all three of the sisters were on the screen again, repeating the chorus.

 

_“Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Alice appeared alone again, and this time the singing was directed to him.

 

_“Shoot him through the heart with a loaded pistol_

 

_Shoot him through the heart with a loaded pistol_

 

_Shoot him through the heart with a loaded pistol_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Alasdair made a mental note to barricade himself into his room tonight. She might make good on that threat.

 

Then Elaine appeared, her verse directed to Owen and Scarlet. Alasdair held back an internal groan. Even in getting reprimanded, those two were grouped together.

 

“ _Slice his throat with a rusty cleaver_

 

_Slice his throat with a rusty cleaver_

 

_Slice his throat with a rusty cleaver_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

All three of the sisters appeared again, singing the final repeat of the chorus.

 

_“Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Way hey and up she rises_

 

_Early in the morning.”_

 

Then they glared at the camera, each of them approaching as if to stress that they meant the threats they had made.

 

“Oh, and everyone, know we will be sending Antonio and Carmen this beautiful recording of Spanish Ladies if you do this again.” Alice said with a smile. “I’m sure they’d all love to help us get our revenge.”

 

The screen went black, and Alasdair groaned. “You had to film us and send them the videos while still drunk?”

 

“I thought they were funny.” She said, defending herself. “Besides, Patrick thought their little video was hilarious.”

 

“Yeah, well Patrick hasn’t been on the wrong side of Antonio’s battle axe for a nice long while.” Alasdair muttered, remembering the last time that one of the Spaniards and Arthur had gotten into a fight.

 

Scarlet shook her head, turning to leave. “Anyhow, just thought I’d give you a warning of what’s coming if we do that again.”

 

Alasdair groaned, rubbing his temples.

 

“You’re the reason we get in so much trouble with our sisters, Scarlet.”

 

She almost grinned as she reached the door. “Then maybe you should let me and Owen have some fun without trying to interrupt us.”

 

Alasdair whirled, and Scarlet grinned as he flipped her off. “Just saying. I might be more convinced to leave my phone at home then.”

 

“Fuck you.” He said, turning back to his room and glancing at the phone. She left, shutting the door behind her.

 

“Goddamnit, Scar. You just had to film us.”

 

Then again, he supposed, what had he expected her to do? She was his twin, after all.

 

“Fucking hell.” He growled, turning to get out of the house and smoke. He couldn’t imagine what hellish trouble they would be getting into next time they took Scarlet drinking with them.

**Author's Note:**

> Me, listening to Spanish Ladies: (to my sister) If England sang this while drunk and it got caught on film, Spain and Fem Spain would kill him.  
> Her: What about Pump Shanty?  
> Me: Alice, Fem England, would kill him. I think Fem Wales and Ireland would be laughing, though.  
> *long pause*  
> Me: I want to write this fic now, and then Fem England just sings that super dark cover of Drunken Sailor to scare her siblings.  
> Her: Do it.  
> (And thus this fic was born. Also, we all needed England singing sea shanties in our lives. Don't deny it.)


End file.
